dejected

i can't even describe how i feel now really.
when i saw the text from MOE, i was shit.
Republic poly, Interactive and Digital Media
THIS IS NOT ANY OF THE 12 CHOICES I SUBMITTED
so i just broke down.
i really didn't see it coming.
yes, maybe i had my hopes too high up.
i just broke down, almost as badly as how i did when i got my results for o's
it just feels reeally unreal D:
i feel like so shitty, i feel like cursing so so much *&%#$#^ but it wouldn't change anythg.
there's so much on my mind now, but i know there's no point regretting right now.

i changed my mindset alot.
from jc, to poly, to temasek poly, now to republic poly?
changing my rather rigid my mindset from jc to poly was so tough
now i have to prepare myself if my appeal to temasek poly isn't successful D:
i'm hoping i'll get accepted, i'm praying hard tp wld give me a chance.
i was really looking forward to temasek poly, honestly.
i have nothing against rp, just that i need band so badly
cause having band in my life motivates me to study even harder.
call me a hardcore bandgeek, cause i am, cause band gives me the sense of hope, and band is my life.
i'm not an awesome tubist but i love playing the tuba
band is just so awesome, i have so much memories in band, and i want to have band in my life still.
and only tp has band.
and after days of research, i really fell in love in
i'm sorry my posts just seems like i'm some loser emo kid D:
i'm not emo.
i'm slowly accepting the reality, but hopefully i'll get into tp,
Amin.

i'm still recovering from the shock.
and i'm really gonna miss my friends so so badly.
when i said bye to my friends,
as i walked away, i just felt really sad, my heart felt really D:
cause i won't be seeing these wonderful people in my life as often
they're all headed for jc.
i will really miss them, a hell lot.

D: