Rush of emotion

So we cabbed to Unggal's place to distribute the food from the wedding earlier on. I haven't visited them for quite some time due to the mad packed weeks of projects, exams and what nots....

I cried when I saw my grandma. I admit I'm not close to my grandma but I was just so taken aback..... She's close to skin and bones :( It was just shocking to see her lying there, so fragile and never did I expect to see her in such a condition. My mum told me to go into her room and take a look at how she is. I switched on the lights and tears just came down my cheeks when I saw her upclose. And she was crying too, but for a different reason. She was very touched to see me, come to visit her. That just made me even more choked up, seeing her so touched, tearing up.....

My mum did tell me about my grandma's condition recently as she's taking turns with my aunt to take care of her. I knew it was pretty bad, she wasn't eating much. Only drinking water and maybe a few bites of biscuits to last her the whole day. But never did I expect to see her in such a condition. The last time I saw her, she looked much better, though she was already quite sick. When I saw her just now, I was lost for words and I guess tears did the talking for a bit. Recalling what happened earlier on is making me tear up too. My mum left me in the room so I could spend some time with my grandma. I talked to her for some time. She asked about me, so I told her what has been going on and stuffs like that. I told her she had to eat..... No matter what. Seeing her so weak and fragile was truly heartbreaking. What she's consuming is definitely not sufficient and doesn't meet her required intake, that's why she's so thin and weak :( I never expect myself to be in tears. I was worried for her.... She was vomiting just yesterday. Seeing her, I couldn't take it. It hurts to see my grandma in a state like that. I assume she also has Alzheimer, so I was glad she could recognise me as we talked. But she can't really remember things so well lately. Like how when my dad came into the room after I left, she asked him, "Are you Nurul's father?" But my dad, who likes to joke with his mum replied, "Her father is Safrin". My grandma asked again, after a short pause if my dad knew Safrin. MY DAD SAID, "I DON'T KNOW" HAHAHAHAHA my dad (Y) It was a joke of course! But my grandma's memory is really not as solid as before :/

She was tearing up when I kissed her on the forehead before I left and that made me :( I felt like a sudden rush of emotion just flowed in me, seeing my grandma today. I'm not the best grand daughter and I am not really close to her too. But, seeing her today just makes me feel really terrible........ I think the best I can do now is to at least visit her and talk to her right? I just want her to know that we're all here and wants her to get well soon. I want her to get well soon and be like how she was before. I really want her to feel better..... Seeing her tear up cause we were there to see her was just so :'( I just want her to be eating well and happy. It hurts me to see her in a fragile and weak condition. I love my grandma and I want to get well.