shattered, but still thankful

it's slowly sinking in, but i can't do a proper post yet.
i still feel lousy and horrible.
i can't stop thinking about everything, which really sucks.
yes, my dreams of getting into mj are shattered
but i'm thankful to Allah that i still have a bright future ahead of me
even if it's going poly.
i'm really thankful, for evrything. i'm not regretting.

even while typing all this now, i really feel like crying.
but i really gave my best.
though 21 points is considered really bad (to me)
cause i can't get into any jcs, cause i need at least 20 points.
i can't use my bonus 4points to minus either cause i'm not eligible for jc.
but i know this is just a temporary setback.
i'll move on and look ahead.

thank you to my teachers who kept me calm when i was crying my eyeballs out,
my 2juniors who came to find me to comfort me
diy who came and cried with me
and my dear friends who kept me sane
and everyone else who managed to put that smile back on my face.
i'll list them out when i can think properly.

maybe my friend was right, i still do listen to you,
i was waiting for you to at least just talk to me after i got my results
i needed comfort from someone who knew me well enough
cause i wanted you to comfort me, like you used to.
i know i shouldn't depend on you, but i really needed you ytd.
i'm sorry i'd annoyed you.

shit.