it's all coming back once again;

i didnt have the mood to post lately.
well i have a lot to say, but i dont know how to put it.....



firstly,
i wanne wish my dearest 2nd sis, KAK EKA
a very HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!

HAHAHA.
FINALLY YOU ARE 27!
coughcough,whencoughareYOUcoughcoughgonnacoughget
coughcoughMARRIED??

i love you man.



secondly, to more serious stuffs...
i wanna thank those people who were there, cheering me up, when i broke down last friday...
thank you.
i really appreciated it, i felt so cared for that time.
that friday was a damn crappy one.


but these people have made me felt much better, thank you..

1) arra;
thank you so much for the hugs. though i said don't, i realised i needed the hug.
i couldn't help crying once you hugged me cause i finally felt loved and someone actually cares for me. thank you for your advice, yes, i was listening. though your hugs and what you said made me cry, its just cause im thankful and very grateful to have such a wonderful friend like you, arra. your words, hugs and advice gave me the strength, to wake up and face reality. thank you arra. thank you. i don't know how to repay you arra. i love you buddy.


2) diyy;
you are one caring senior man. im sorry for wetting your shirt with my tears. but, thank you for being there, i love you diyy. what you said in your message was so sincere,
''........cause you know im there for you regardless, i love you (:''
the hugs and the words are very much appreciated. thank you diyy.


3) rahmah;
thanks for asking if i was okaaay. i lied though, i said i was okaay despite knowing that my red, teary eyes were the evidence of me being not okay, but thank you rahmah. thank you.
then the part when my pepsi twist bottle fell and it wass bubbling and all, its okaay rahmah.
it was funny... thanks babe.


i didnt want to go home that night, ibu smsed me telling how angry bapak was when she showed him my disappointing progress report, so angry to the extend that he didnt want to speak to me. thats really bad, i rather he scold me for all he wants (i deserve a long scolding,)
i was indeed in fear.
i really didnt want to go home.

too many thoughts crossed my mind, foolish thoughts i guess.
i was definitely not the usual self,
i couldnt believe it myself,
but i just went home.
i didnt.

yeah i told you, keep it to yourself.


thirdly,
lastly,
i want to thank my dearest family for giving me so much love yesterday,
the long conversation we had after kak eka's birthday celebration...
ive come to realise that you all love me, very much.
i love you all too.

kak eka, abang yasher and kak anna
ibu and bapak
i love you all very much,
i felt so loved,
the care and concern you guys showered me with..
thank you.

bapak finally spoke to me yesterday,
i dont blame him for not talking to me.
ibu told me why and all....
and bapak knew i was really sad and depressed so he knew he had to speak to me,
thank you bapak.
im sorry i have disappointed you and ibu, and the rest too..

im so touched that you all still care for me,
thank you.


and this was what arra's mum told her, well smthg like this..
"why are we in despair over marks when others out there are suffering much more than us?"
it made think and realised crying over my marks won't change a thing,
all i can do now is to work hard, and do my best right?

a long post indeed.
thank you everyone who made me feel much much better.
i love you.

0456PM
and im gone for now....